


Back in the Game

by LaDonnaErrante



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, F/F, Past Harry/Ginny - Freeform, Past Tonks/Remus, References to canon character deaths, Tonks Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 16:37:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7515424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaDonnaErrante/pseuds/LaDonnaErrante
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of the second wizarding war, it takes Ginny a long time to find herself and even longer to find her way to Tonks. AU in which Tonks lives but Remus doesn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back in the Game

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JosephineStone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JosephineStone/gifts).



> Written for JosephineStone during HP Femmefest 2016

**I.**  
There are butterflies in Ginny’s stomach as she approaches the Cannons' locker room. Lily and Al are chattering excitedly and James – newly crowned captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team -- is giving her pointers in a serious tone, but Ginny isn’t really listening. She can’t quite believe she’s back here, starting in her first Quidditch match since James was born. Then she hears Nym’s Mum Voice: “ All right, kids. Go find our seats and give your mum some space. Take a few sickles for fizzy drinks.” The kids trot off happily and Nym takes her by the shoulders and gives her a broad smile. “You’ll do great, Weasley,” she says as she kisses her hard. Ginny nods as if she doesn’t really believe it, but it's the best she can do. “Now get out there and kick the Falcons’ asses for them.” As Ginny turns into the locker room, Nym swots her lightly on the arse. 

Ginny gets into her kit perfunctorily wondering how she got here. She smiles as she remembers that so much of it has to do with Nym. 

The first days after the Battle of Hogwarts were a jumbled confusion of exhaustion and grief. Ginny can’t remember how they got home to the Burrow, or who made the arrangements for Fred’s funeral. The funerals became a blur in her mind, coming quickly one after the other. She’s pretty sure the only reason Fred’s stands out is the spectacular firework show George put on. She would like to say that she remembers Remus’ funeral, but mostly she remembers how awkwardly Harry held Teddy while Tonks said goodbye to her husband. She does remember how the summer dragged on, hot and humid, sapping everyone of the energy to move. Or maybe it was the grief that left them lethargic, until late in the afternoon when Molly would round them up, pulling them from their beds and putting them to work in the kitchen or the garden. Eventually Arthur and Percy returned to the Ministry, while Bill and Fleur stopped coming by every day. The days where it was just she and Molly seemed interminable. She remembers rowing, but not what they rowed about. 

It was only after Hermione had returned to Hogwarts, and Ron and George had reopened the shop, that things began to return to normal. Molly successfully cajoled Tonks into bringing Teddy over for an afternoon. Tonks looked worn and grey, her hair hanging long, limp and brown. Ginny remembers the sweat-stickiness of holding baby Teddy against her shoulder, giving off heat like a little furnace. She remembers how Tonks had smiled a real smile at her little joke about the Cannons and how she had brushed off Molly’s inappropriate questions without being mean. She remembers that Tonks never asked her what she was going to do with her life, why she wasn’t back at Hogwarts or in the Auror training program. After that day she went to visit Tonks regularly. 

What began as a way to avoid Molly’s insistent mothering soon became a fast friendship. Ginny cajoled Tonks into Quidditch scrimmages and in turn Tonks taught Ginny the agility exercises she had used to prepare for the Auror exam. Ginny watched with amusement as she tripped over her own feet trying to demonstrate an exercise meant to improve dueling footwork. Nym, as she now allowed Ginny to call her, fell flat on her ass and was laughing. Ginny jogged over to her and offered a hand, chuckling and teasingly runnng her hand over Nym’s short blue hair. As she pulled Nym to her feet, she felt something in her stomach drop. All of a sudden all she could hear was the sound of Tonks’ labored breath and her own heart pounding in her chest. She couldn’t seem to see anything but the way the muscles in Nym’s arms worked in her sleeveless tee and a little bit of bright green underarm hair. When she tried to look away, she found herself staring down at an ample bosom. Ginny blushed to the tips of her ears as she felt desire stir in her gut. Quickly, she pulled her hand away and stammered, “Th...Thanks for showing me.” She laughed awkwardly. 

Realization dawned on Nym’s face; taking a step back, she smiled gently, trying to hide a panicked expression. “Anytime...I should, uh...Teddy will be waking up in a minute.” 

At first, it was terrifying. Ginny hadn’t known what to make of the desire pooling in her every time she thought about Tonks' goofy smile. It didn’t take her long though, to realize that it wasn’t any different than the excitement she had felt about Harry. Thinking about him made her want to charm bludgers into the shape of his face. She still felt the sting of hurt at being left behind like a child while he and her dumb brother went off to save the world. Then he had the audacity to hang around her, presumably looking for a snog, but just giving off the impression of a puppy following its owner around hoping for a treat. She’d given him the cold shoulder the whole summer until he’d finally given up and gone to Auror training. And here she was, stuck at the Burrow with her mother trying to feed her twelve times a day, wishing for some adventure of her own. The fun and easy companionship with Nym, working out together while she tried to figure out what the hell came next was as close to adventure as she was going to get. Until that day in the garden, when she had wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them and kiss Nym. Finally, there was something new and exciting in all the mess. 

In the beginning, before fourth year, Tonks had been the sort of cool older sister that Ginny had never had. There was something enchanting about her changing face and hair. As an Auror she was an automatic hero. It had never before occurred to Ginny that the desire she felt when she looked at Tonks’ toned figure was not just the longing to be like her. Now, she didn’t just want to be her, she wanted to kiss her. 

It was nearly a fortnight before Ginny had the chance to see Nym again. The case Nym had been assigned heated up and she was on duty for several days in a row chasing former Death Eaters up in Scotland. Then she had needed to catch up on sleep and time with the baby. It didn’t occur to Ginny that Tonks was ignoring her until they finally had the chance to spend time together. Tonks was awkward and clumsier than usual, dumping the entire tea tray on the floor before she’d even got it out of the kitchen. Ginny waved the shards of china away with her wand and took a deep breath, steeling herself to say something about their near kiss. Before she could open her mouth, Tonks spoke hastily. “Forget the tea. Let’s take a walk.” 

It was a drizzly autumn day, chilly but not unpleasant and they walked the small wizarding suburb in silence for a few minutes before Nym spoke. 

“I’m sorry,” she began. “I noticed the way you were looking at me, the other day. And, well, I didn’t quite know what to say.” 

“I...I really like you.” Ginny could feel her ears going red. She kept her eyes focused on the ground, papered with wet brown leaves. 

She could hear the smile in Tonks’ voice when she gently said, “I know. And I remember what that’s like. Is it the first time you’ve felt this way about a woman?” 

Ginny, who didn’t think it was a possible to get any redder, nodded and grimaced. 

Tonks sighed. “I wish I had a better answer for you. I don’t think I’m ready for anything just yet; there’s this big piece of me missing where Remus used to be. And even if I were ready, I’m a widowed single mum and a good deal older than you. You are one bad arse young woman. You deserve to be having fun with kids your own age.” 

Ginny clenched her fists, and wished for a brief moment that the ground would swallow her whole. The only thing she could feel was her nails cutting into her palms. Focusing on that sharp pain, she stopped walking. 

“That is such bullshit.” Ginny’s voice was deep and angry. “ Everyone just wants to treat me like I’m some dumb child. Harry, Percy, my mum and now you. Well, I’m not a bloody kid. And if you don’t want me, then fine, just tell me. But don’t bullshit me. I thought we were better friends than that.” She turned on her heel and Apparated home. 

She went directly to the broom shed and pulled out her favorite of their worn out brooms, an old Cleansweep that had been new when Charlie was born and went for a long fly. All the stress and change of the last few months blurred right into grey clouds, and soon there wasn’t anything except the wind on her face, and the comforting smell of the autumn rain, and her weight shifting and balancing, one with the broom. When she’d sufficiently lost herself to flight, she let the events of the past few hours and the past few months return to her slowly, one by one. Shame and confusion, hope and grief roiled in her, making their way through her. As her experiences settled into her, she made two decisions. First, she would try out for the Holyhead Harpies. What was the point of living through a war, if you couldn’t have some fun afterwards? Second, if she made the team, she’d give Harry another chance. Both she and Harry deserved a chance at a normal future. 

During the following months, Ginny trained as if her life depended on it. She spent hours in the air doing drills or running over the hills to Ottery St. Catchpole and back. Out of the blue, Nym showed up one cold December morning in her trainers and wordlessly joined Ginny on her morning run. Half an hour later, when Nym tripped over a fallen tree branch, they both laughed until their stomachs hurt. 

“Friends?” Nym asked. 

“Sure” Ginny said. “C’mon, if I have any hope of ever making the Harpies, we’ve got to get a move on.” 

“You’re going out for the Harpies? That’s brilliant!” 

They settled into a comfortable rhythm. 

**II.**

Ginny stretches with the team, listening to the younger women and men joke and laugh. She could almost be their mother, she realizes, and thinks about just how quickly the time has passed since her own kids were in diapers. Now they are waiting for her out in the stands, and she hopes they’ll be proud of her. She’s waited a long time for this, given them a lot meanwhile. Maybe they’ll appreciate it. 

Lily Luna was three when Ginny realized that she and Harry wouldn’t be married forever. Lily was wailing in her crib and James and Al were playing Quidditch in the yard while Ginny scrubbed at the scribbles that Lily had drawn all over the bathroom tile in the exactly four and half minutes she’d been unsupervised. She could have used magic, but she’d learned that she needed the physical way to get her anger out by the time James was toddling. It wasn't only Lily she was frustrated about; generally speaking, a few scribbles on the wall were the least of Ginny’s worries. She was upset about the state of her work at The Prophet, where she’d been covering the Quidditch league while Harrison, three years her junior, had just been promoted over her head. Even though she knew she didn’t have the time to be an editor, the deal was that she only had to be in the office two days a week and could work from home the rest of the time. Ideally, it was perfect: raise kids, keep up with the sport, have it all. In reality, she was miserable; it just wasn’t the career she had imagined. She thought she’d at least have the chance to play in a World Cup before retiring to have kids, but just as her career with the Harpies was taking off, James had come along. She would have been happy to wait, but the hope and need burgeoning in Harry’s big green eyes when her period had been late was too much. The sound of the rough cloth scraping over the tile was comforting, as long as she just focused on the pink streaks centimetre by centimetre, everything would be okay. The truth was that she had been miserable at home too. And she couldn’t fault Harry for that; he’d been an excellent father, commuting to Hogwarts only part time when the children were small. Her rhythm was broken by a crash from downstairs. 

“James Sirius and Albus Severus Potter! Put the brooms down this instant,” She roared, sure that their game of catch had moved from the yard into the house. She was taken aback by how much she sounded like Molly. She sent the boys to their rooms, checked on Lily who had progressed from temper tantrum to nap, and set listening charms at the doors before storming into the yard, grabbing a beater’s bat and whacking a bludger around for a few minutes. It was the first time she’d picked up a ball in ages. She never intended to become a housewife and while she’d come to respect Molly’s dedication to her family, she never expected to become her. Life with Harry wasn’t turning out at all how she had imagined. His need for family and stability was crowding out her fantasies of adventure and intrigue. Ron and Hermione had gotten the best part of his life. As far as Ginny was concerned, she was stuck with the boring stuff. The sharp crack of the bat against the ball was satisfying, as was the feeling of heaviness in her arm, the momentum of the follow through. She let her frustration and anger fade away in the motion. When her arm and hand began to tingle, she stopped, shaking her arm out and letting her breath slowly return to normal. It was then that she heard it. The creak of a door through the listening charm that told her that one of the boys was in violation of his time out. Then she heard James’ soft voice, talking to Lily, telling her a story about a bear and a beaver roaming the wild woods together and she smiled and laughed a bit. 

That night, sitting in bed talking with Harry, while the kids slept, they giggled quietly over the events of the day. She paused, swallowed. Yearning for something more settled heavily in her chest. When she tried to tell him, it stuck in the back of her throat, leaving her speechless and silent. 

It wasn’t long after when Ginny showed up at Tonks’ house. The children played two-a-side Quidditch in the yard while the mums drank tea and laughed about Teddy’s most recent adolescent sulk, all because Nym wouldn’t buy him the pair of trainers he just had to have, because “all my friends have them.” 

“I’m leaving Harry,” Ginny said in a quiet voice, and Tonks pulled out the firewhiskey. She poured them three fingers each and her hair changed from the bright blue she had been wearing to match Teddy to a more subdued grey, but she didn’t say anything. Ginny knocked back the glass, and poured herself another. She was quiet as she sipped the second whisky, refusing to meet Tonks’ eyes. Instead she concentrated on the smooth soft skin on her hands, so different from the dry skin and rough callouses of a Quidditch player's. “I haven’t told anyone yet. And I feel a bit bad about it really. It’s not Harry’s fault, I just feel like I’ve been living someone else's life. One minute I was on track to play for England and the next I’m cleaning up mud tracked into the house by the world’s three messiest children. I don’t know how I got here, and it might have been fine, except it makes me feel like shit. I haven’t been on a broom in months.” 

“Life hasn’t turned out how any of us thought it would.” Tonks said gently, “but you deserve to be happy. You always have a place here.”

Ginny gaves her a tight smile and downed her drink. 

In the months that followed, Ginny kept a bag packed. But somehow there was always something more important – Al was having trouble with bullies at the Muggle school, Lily was ill or James was misbehaving in Care of Magical Creatures. One thing would always lead to another, and it never was the right time. She took out the broom every once in awhile, but she left the bag at the bottom of the closet. 

It took Ginny another decade to actually leave. Lily was on the Hogwarts train, starting her third year when she turned to Harry and told him she’d be spending the next few months at Tonks’ until she sorted out what came next. 

Ginny packed her things by magic mostly, leaving the house to Harry. In the beginning Nym forced her into a routine. She woke early, a habit from years of incomplete sleep, and would sit in the kitchen while Nym got ready for work. Once Tonks left for the Ministry, Ginny would pull out her file of articles and begin editing. It felt good just to concentrate on something that wasn’t connected to her life falling apart. Dennis, the junior Quidditch correspondent, was a good writer and made it easy for her to get lost in the flow of last week’s game between Wimbourne and Puddlemere or a heart tugging piece on the Tornadoes newest recruit. Then, from noon until Tonks returned, she would train. 

**III.**

As Ginny walks onto the pitch for her first game as a Cannon, it’s pouring rain. Most of the women who play Quidditch professionally don’t return after they’ve had kids, and at almost forty, Ginny is in the league’s older end. But Oliver Wood is still playing, for Puddlemere, and even played for England in last year’s cup. So Ginny figured there was no harm in trying. She remembers the first day that all this really seemed worth trying for. 

One early spring day, even though it was pissing down rain, she made her way to Tonks’ broomshed and pulled out her old Firebolt. She cast a good water proofing charm and started flying drills. That day, like most days, Ginny didn’t really notice time passing on her broom. 

It was dark when Nym returned and she came out to the garden to find Ginny. All she could see was a streak of red hair circling the tree at the center of the yard, and she called out to no avail. Between the storm and the height at which Ginny was flying, she couldn’t hear a thing. It wasn’t until Nym pulled out her wand and sent up sparks, that Ginny flew in. She was drenched, despite the charms, and covered in mud from practicing dives. 

“Ugh.” Ginny said as they stepped inside. Nym just laughed and went to put dinner on the stove while Ginny cleaned up. When she returned, in a pair of comfortable sweats, hair washed and pulled into a low ponytail, Tonks put a steaming bowl of chicken and rice in front of her. They ate on the couch, laughing and swapping stories. 

Tonks, who was wearing her hair in a short, asymmetrical shock of pink, placed a hand on Ginny’s knee. “I’m glad you’re here.” 

“Me too.” Ginny smiled, feeling warm and full. An old desire tugged in her belly. She had grown used to it, long ago, but when it pulled at her once more, she couldn’t ignore it. Instead, she placed her hand on Tonks’ knee. She heard Tonks take a deep breath. 

“If it’s too much, too soon, I understand.” Ginny turned to face Nym, whose grey eyes found hers. She held Nym’s gaze, refusing to turn away, trying desperately to communicate how much she wanted this. Reaching out a hand, she stroked her thumb down Nym’s cheek. Nym let out a shaky breath. 

“Can I kiss you?” Ginny asked. Nym nodded, leaning forward. When their lips met, it was awkward only for a moment, like all first kisses. And then, Ginny’s chapped lips opened and Tonks’ tongue was in her mouth and one of her hands cupped Ginny’s face while the other ran up and down her back. They broke apart panting. 

“God I haven’t kissed like that since I was a teenager.” Ginny managed once she’d got her breath back. 

“Are you sure about this?” Nym asked, “I mean, you’ve just left Harry, you’re in the middle of a career change…”

“Yes, of course I’m sure.” She snapped, giving her a pointed look. Nym seemed so genuinely surprised by this that Ginny laughed. “You sound just like Remus, you know.” 

“Oh…”

Ginny took her hand, rubbing her fingers gently over Nym’s knuckles. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Just that you don’t have to protect me from this...from us. I’m not a teenager anymore.” 

“I know.”

“It’s good you said no the first time. Even though I couldn’t see it then, I wasn’t ready. But now I am.”

“I wasn’t ready either. I don’t really know if I am now. But watching you out there, everyday, trying. I need that, I need to try.” Nym brushed her fingers through Ginny’s still wet hair and kissed her again, soft and sweet. 

The driving rain on the pitch brings back the memories of those early kisses, and the hope that came with them. Ginny hears the whistle blow, and kicks off, hard, rising steadily and taking possession of the Quaffle.


End file.
